Crist Already Down to Legalization, Desperate for Support (Again)

Charlie Crist’s metamorphosis for political expedience is finally complete.

Fighting a campaign against Ron DeSantis, his back against the wall somehow even before election season begins, Crist has already dropped legalization in an attempt to stay relevant. And by even the most passing judgment, he needs it.

Crist has tried to paint himself as a serious challenger for months now and has ended up looking increasingly desperate, a man possessed on a quest for relevance. Begging for retweets every other day, making the classic mistake of believing that millions of people are single issue voters who care more about weed than anything else on the planet, swearing that he’s always been some kind of progressive hero while almost every article written about him reminds people that he’s not, Charlie Crist is perpetually stuck in 2010.

And despite all this, despite being associated with and possibly contributing to the so far greatest Democratic loss in recent Florida history, Democrats are once again rallying behind the man.

It’s such an obvious question, but no one has really asked it yet, so I will. Why? Why Charlie Crist? Is it because Florida Democrats haven’t won in so long that they don’t even know what it looks like anymore? Is it because Crist is the only guy left who will hire the consultants who half of Florida Dems believe have destroyed the party’s chances indefinitely? Is it because he kept asking and they just gave in, like the parents of a five year old child?

Is this really the best the Dems down here can do? What are they smoking?

Pass the School Bus Camera Bill Already

Once more, the Florida legislature will have an opportunity to pass legislation allowing cameras to be attached to school bus stop signs. Just do it already.

A society is only as good as how well it protects its children from its worst elements and how well it keeps them safe as they learn and grow. There is no debating that. There is no valid argument that actually it would be easier to just let the kids fend for themselves. Literally the absolute least we could do is keep our children safe.

This is the third year Democratic state rep. Slosberg has introduced this. If this had passed the first time, children’s lives could have been saved from the kind of hit and runs that are the stuff of parents’ nightmares. The ten year old girl killed on September 23rd might still be alive. Now the state has an opportunity to make that right. There is absolutely no excuse for not passing it this time. Especially since this time Slosberg is joined by Republucan rep. Altman.

This is one of those things that shouldn’t be political, period. Yes, it means we have to concede that a Democrat in Florida had a good idea. That’s rare. Hell these days it’s rare that a Republican has a good idea, either. But if there is anyone left in government that is in government to serve their constituents instead of to have their ego stroked by an ever growing list of volunteers and activists, let them demonstrate it by doing the right thing and supporting whatever is necessary to prevent hit and runs that kill schoolchildren.

Sometimes, it’s pretty easy to believe that the works today is totally FUBAR. But if we want that to change, we have to acknowledge that change is going to come from our children. And it would help if they didn’t get run over before they had a chance to change the world.

The Curious Case of the Unarrested Councilman

Imagine how you would feel if you got a get out of jail free card you could use in real life. However that would make you feel, it must be similar to how Riviera Beach councilman Doug Lawson feels.

Lawson and his fiance recently visited the Marina Grande, where security footage apparently caught them in what’s been described as a “shoving match.” When the fiance was questioned about it she said there wasn’t really any shoving per se, she had simply had too much to drink and Lawson was preventing her from getting behind the wheel. Perhaps she had a sudden, uncontrollable urge to drive.

Another bit of security footage from the building’s elevator showed the Councilman wrapping both arms around his fiance’s legs and pinning her to the elevator wall. This particular example could be domestic violence or it frankly could be something else.

The officer who arrested Lawson on domestic violence charges was then fired. And then he was reinstated. The city manager tried to explain this away by saying that the officer never told him if he filed paperwork with the state attorney, and if the officer had, they never would have initially fired him. Because as we all know officers are normally required to keep city managers informed of every detail of every arrest.

But this only gets weirder and shadier as it goes on. The councilman was later ordered to be…unarrested. Which, as most of us know, isn’t a thing.

Then the fiance holds a press conference where she announces to the world that on the day in question she was very drunk and the Councilman was just doing what was necessary to stop her from driving. In the elevator.

Then, the police union rep tells the press that the officer who filed the arrest report was fired for blowing the whistle on how unusual it was for a councilman to be “un-arrested.” But it’s OK now because the officer has been reinstated?

But don’t worry, Riviera Beach is on it. They’ve already hired a consulting firm to investigate all this. Who wants to bet that the consulting firm magically finds no one did anything wrong?

In Tampa, You Could be Homeless Even if You’re Not Guilty

“Criminality is not a protected class.” That is the seemingly sensible statement made by Tampa mayor Jane Castor in an article published by the (admittedly lefty) Tampa Bay Times about a police program that is designed to promote crime free apartment complexes, or something. It’s very efficient and a great deal for landlords. The police arrest someone, notify the suspect’s landlord of the arrest, and if the landlord evicts all these people from their building their apartments get to be labeled as certified “crime free.” Maybe they also get a sticker or something.

Of course, there’s the minor issue of the FHA and fair housing. You know, that whole civil rights thing, and the whole “innocent until proven guilty” and just the judicial branch in general. But minor details, really. What’s important is that you get that certified crime free designation (which is probably also a fair housing violation)!

I’m being a little melodramatic, but I feel it’s appropriate here in order for the reader to understand the voices of those who, though they are arrested but not yet convicted of a crime, find themselves in danger of eviction over it.

Not only that, but the FHA guidelines for prospective tenants with a criminal history are pretty clear, and that’s for people with a criminal history. In other words, people who’ve had their day in court and been convicted. Certainly people who haven’t even had their day in court yet and have just been picked up by Tampa police have at least the same rights. But currently, the city of Tampa clearly considers them guilty until proven innocent.

This policy of notifying landlords when their tenants are arrested is likely a violation of fair housing, and publicly advertising apartment buildings as “crime free” certainly is. For those unfamiliar, there is a concept in fair housing law called “steering.” Steering is when a prospective tenant or buyer or a home is told or given strong signals about where to live based on what kind of people live there. It’s redlining without the marker and the map. You just tell people that they really don’t want to live in that neighborhood over there because that’s where all the crime is and you know what kind of people commit all the crimes around here and really you should buy in this neighborhood instead.

So the long term effect of this is to artificially label places as “crime free” by evicting people who commit crimes, even before they get to stand before a judge. If you want to go down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole or just look at the demographics of who gets arrested and convicted over minor crimes in Florida, you could argue that the program is actually a method of targeting and removing certain ethnicities from certain neighborhoods. Even if that’s not the intent (it almost certainly isn’t), that’s the likely result.

By following this policy, Tampa is violating the spirit of fair housing laws and it should stop doing so immediately. Deciding who is a criminal is a job for the courts, not for a landlord. If someone is found guilty of an offense serious enough that they can be said to pose a danger to the community, that’s what jail is for. Making a defendant homeless before they see their day in court is inhumane, stupid, and probably a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Criminality is not a protected class, but being an American citizen means being given due process. Jane Castor never struck me as someone who would forget about the rights of the individual, but her endorsement of this program clearly shows she has forgotten about them here.

The Dancing Taco of Broward County

In case you were not aware, September 15th is the start of Hispanic Heritage Month. This is a time to celebrate the many peoples and histories that comprise the cultural mosaic that is the fastest growing demographic group in Florida.

Unless you’re whatever poor soul is in charge of the Broward county government’s Twitter account. Then it’s the perfect excuse to achieve what I honestly had previously thought was unachievable: uniting an incredibly population in facepalmy outrage.

I try not to comment on the culture wars/politically correct stuff. It’s like writing about tobacco except with identity politics people don’t know they’re addicted. Getting through to the different tribes is like trying to deradicalize one of those suburban teenage girls that went to fight for ISIS. But sometimes someone does something so unbelievably, comically stupid that I feel I must mention it because surely no one’s gonna stand up to defend the dancing taco as a symbol of Latin culture. Right? Please? Can we all at least agree that the symbol of “Hispanic” heritage probably should not he a dancing taco gif that looks like something someone bought at a Spencer’s Gifts 15 years ago for a college party they don’t remember?

Broward changed the tweet a little later. Which is fine, except to me it isn’t. In government, the reality is that most of the time you can’t get done what you want to get done because you don’t control all the outcomes, but those outcomes you can control can maybe make up for that. At least you can use those outcomes you control to promote your values.

Which begs the question: what does a county government honestly control more directly than a Twitter account? It’s just some intern who probably sits at a desk down the hall from the County Administrator. The people who run the day to day probably see this person regularly. Regularly enough that they should know if they handed their Twitter account over to someone who thinks a dancing taco as a political statement of support for Latinos is appropriate.

Look, there’s definitely a grey area when it comes to sensitivity and sensitivity training where someone can make an honest mistake. We left that behind five exits ago. We’re in dancing taco country now, where people post stuff like that and then come back in a year and ask Latinos for their votes. Maybe there’s a hidden dancing taco vote I don’t know about, but I highly doubt it.

Or maybe somebody was just day drinking and thought it looked cool, their judgment clearly impaired. I really hope it’s the second one.

Tallahassee Votes to Eliminate Constitutional Committee for Daring to Suggest Ethics Reform

The current drama in Tallahassee is obscuring something far more consequential for Floridians that came out this legislative session: what to do with the constitutional review committee.

Last month the House and Senate passed by pretty large margins a measure to get rid of the CRC. The 37-member Constitutional review Commission meets every 20 years to make proposals to change the constitution. These proposals can be virtually unlimited in scope, since they go to the voters in the same way that a constitutional amendment by petition would.

The abolition of this committee is less a partisan issue than it might seem at first glance. After all, the conventional narrative is that the GOP, since it controls the state and wants to maximize that control as any political party would, wants to abolish the committee so that it can prevent opposition leaders from governing by amendment. But SJR 204, the measure to abolish the CRC, passed with only 12 no votes in the Senate. Interestingly, the soon to be new Senate Democratic leader (Book) was not present for the vote. There are sixteen Democrats in the Florida Senate, so four agreed with this idea. That’s a quarter of the caucus.

The same is true in the Florida House: the measure to abolish the CRC only got 28 no votes, and there are 42 Democrats in the House.

Sure, it’s true that the CRC is a little vestigial. If there’s already a way for people to propose amendments why have a committee that meets every 20 years appointed by political elites propose its own amendments? And while there is some truth to that, politics isn’t about truth. Politics is about intent and timing.

First, the timing. the last time the CRC met was in 2018. That year the CRC proposed an amendment that created a whole new set of restrictions against lobbying. Included in those restrictions was a ban on lobbying for money by current public officers and former court judges or justices. It also specifically prohibits abuse of power for personal gain and creates penalties for politicians who do so. It mandates public disclosure of campaign contributions. It would prevent politicians from becoming lobbyists for two years after they leave office.

Not surprisingly, given all the good things contained therein, that amendment recommended by the CRC passed overwhelmingly in 2018 when it was voted on by the people of Florida. Two years after the people of Florida voted to force politicians to behave with a sense of decency, those politicians turned around and decided to abolish the commission that came up with the idea.

So don’t worry, there’s a new bipartisan consensus in Tallahassee: killing ethics reforms and punishing the people who bring them forward. Just in case you were worried nothing ever got done anymore.

Hey, At Least We’re Not The Palmer Report

You might have an opinion about Chad or about Hanging Chad’s. And that’s fine. But hey, at least we’re not the Palmer Report.

I’ve read some bad political takes in my day. I’ve read some sloppy editorial work. I’ve read, with increasing frequency in recent years, the crummy and crumbling merger of both of those things into a dumbass political soup that no one is satisfied with but everyone retweets like it’s gold.

But I have never read something as desperate as this. The “Palmer Report”, an LA-based-because-of-course-it-is progressive think tank pretending to be news, has announced that Ron DeSantis has a 70 percent chance of losing his re-election bid. Ron DeSantis. In case you were asking, I did check and I don’t think this is a crossover from a parallel universe situation.

This is the same Palmer Report that was convinced Ron would lose in ’18. So we know they know what they’re talking about.

Look, in case it needs to he stated yet again and it does appear it needs to be stated yet again, the Florida Democratic Party is on life support. Its story is both tragic and farcical. Someday I might do a full autopsy but for now just imagine someone shooting themselves in both knee caps and then insisting that they can still compete in the Tour de France. Better yet, imagine betting your house on a passing competition with Tom Brady and considering it a stroke of strategic brilliance. Now imagine buying a new house every two years and repeating the same wager growing more and more confident that if you just keep doing the same thing over and over you’ll win someday.

This is where the Florida Democrats find themselves. They have lost their registration advantage. Their infrastructure across the state is falling apart faster than AMTRAK. They have an unhealthy obsession with begging Charlie Crist to run for every open seat they think they can win. This is what the Palmer Report is betting their chips on. I’d call it sad, but truth be told they did it to themselves.

Look, it’s probably not all the Palmer Report’s fault. Even in very red or very blue states, there are still generally two functioning parties. The Florida Democrats simply do not function. But even if they functioned at optimal performance, that’s not the issue at hand here. They don’t have anyone who can beat Ron Desantis. Their best candidate isn’t running. Yes, anything can change, the last year has taught us that in spades. But right now, DeSantis is probably the safest governor in the country.

Happy Holidays

I don’t think we have needed a holiday more than this year, collectively, globally. We have not seen the kind of change we have seen this year in a century, and 2020 is probably just the start. This decade is bound to be one of transformation, but even so I think 2020 will stand out as something unique and terrible.

We lost something in 2020. Not because of a global pandemic or a tough election. We lost the concept that things can only happen to us with our consent. In a year that felt so much out of pir control it felt at times like all we were doing was watching a coked out guy in a Hitler costume drive us into the mouth of a volcano. We couldn’t control the pandemic, the hurricane season, the wildfire season, this election, even though those things were the result of collective decisions we made not to face our reckoning as a society until it came. As individuals we couldn’t control those things.

But we could, and can, control how we treat other people and how we show respect. The greatest tragedy of this year, the loss of a sense of what it even means to be an American, is reversible. All we have to do is start treating people like equals, like how we would want to be treated. It’s easy in these days of instant stereotyping to write off the millions of people who we disagree with as stupid, below us, not worth our time or our resources. But in doing that we are writing off fellow human beings who laugh, cry, love, suffer, bleed, and age exactly like we do. There is no fundamental difference in genetic substructure between us and the people we disagree with, and it’s time we accept that.

This is the Holiday Season. It doesn’t matter your beliefs, everyone wants the same thing when they see the rest of the world celebrating with family. They want to feel connected again to their own home. Especially this year, home is the common ground that if we weren’t so blind we would realize towers over our disagreements. So, go home. Smile more. Enjoy your holiday. Remember that people want the same basic things in life and that we are all part of the same species. And remember that no one can make you hate anyone else without your consent.

Keyontae Johnson Now Out of Medically Induced Coma in Gainesville Hospital

Most of us have heard about Keyontae’s collapse on the court over the weekend and the inspiring story that followed, where the team voted to keep on playing after the injury.

We’re picking up where that story, and too many stories about athletes cut down by injury, leave off. After the collapse Keyontae was rushed to a Gainesville hospital and underwent a medically induced coma. As of Monday afternoon the staff responsible for his care reported that he was “following simple commands” and undergoing further tests. Reporters had been hounding Johnson’s grandfather trying to get answers and updates and were told, unsurprisingly that no one is entirely sure what happened yet.

Keyontae started his care at Tallahasse Memorial before being transferred to a Gainesville facility operated by UF Health. It could be interpreted as a move to better protect his privacy, or to get him much needed specialist care. While Keyontae’s grandfather mentioned possible brain damage as a concern UF Health doctors also floated the possibility that Johnson could have suffered cardiac damage.

Keyontae was seemingly born to make magic happen on the court. We can’t vouch for whether this is true but we have seen it repeated in several places across the internet that he was born when his parents were on the way to a Florida State game. That’s almost written for a 90s feel-good sports movie. So was the scene on the court when his teammates cried and prayed for him in the huddle. Indeed the only part a movie would likely change is the outcome of the game itself.

Keyontae is a pretty private person and not active on social media with the exception of a Twitter account. For his sake we do hope that the public and the media respect his privacy, and we will do everything we can to bring you updates and uplifting facts about Keyontae from a distance, so as to respect that privacy.

We’d like to make a personal appeal to all of you reading this. With everything happening around the world this year it might seem like the last person who needs our love and support is a popular college athlete. But Keyontae is more than that; he is a beacon of hope in the UF community. He is proof that hard work and dedication can take you places, even in these times. And he was like family to the rest of his team. Please take a moment and pray for him, or lift him up in your own way, rather than letting his story get drowned amidst politics and pandemics. People like Keyontae are our nation’s future and we owe a debt both on and off the court.

We’re Back, Even Though How Do You Even Cover Politics Anymore

How do you. It’s a serious question.

For millions of Americans and millions of Floridians, politics has become little more than cheering in the stands during a soccer game. If you’re a soccer fan or been to a match you know that possibly the most fun part about it is cheering like a drunken barbarian in the bleachers for the team of your choice. As an aside, I do notice that the less often people score in a particular sport, the more drinking and cheering is involved. But that’s neither here nor there. Politics has become exactly like that for too many people. Their party/candidate is their team, and they would rather die for their team than admit their team made an error to someone outside the community. But at the same time they are the most ruthless towards people inside their team.

That’s politics today. It’s more than tribalism. Study ancient tribal politics in most bronze age societies and you will discover a far more complicated and nuanced picture than you see in Florida in 2020. People treat politics like a spectator sport, and they think that if they cheer loudly enough they might just be able to change how the game is going.

So we’re back, to try and cover this mess. Chad’s head hurts just thinking about it. But when the game is over and the hangover comes, people are going to feel lost, and they will look to the internet for answers, because of course they will. And as long as that continues we want to be there to provide answers and ask questions that at the very least are not clinically insane.

So what will be covering? It’ll be an ongoing list, subject to change based on our resources. But we have a few things we want to explore on this blog and there is no better time than the end of 2020. We want to explore neuroscience and how that’s changed politics over the last decade, how foreign actors have neutered American politics on both sides of the aisle, new developments in Cuba and Venezuela, the continued sad saga of the Florida Democratic Party as it strives for 50th best state party in the country, and more as it becomes relevant.

Would we rather fade into obscurity? Maybe. Reality, however, demands that we do not. We are increasingly stuck between two political echo chambers